Today's Commentary: The Tattoo/Sex Correlation

After having just been inked for the first time, I have discovered many similarities between losing one's virginity and getting tattooed for the first time.

Once my appointment had been set, the artist marked my file with a big "V" for "virgin" almost like the big "A" from the scarlet letter. It was a symbol for everyone to know...that I had never been inked. This would be my first time. I would never again be pure. I left a little nervous about that, but even more excited by what I was about to do. I would never be the same again.

So let's start at the beginning. First, there is the consult. This happens on a day separate from the tattoo. It is like the first date. You discuss your dreams with the artist. You explain what you want. He tells you what he can and cannot give you. From there you decide if it will work. If so, you make an appointment. This is like designating when the first sex act will happen.

On the day of the appointment you arrive early and fill out paper work, hand in your ID and sign your life away. The adrenaline is pumping so fast you don't know how to spell your name. You don't KNOW your name. This is the equivalent of foreplay. He preps the part of your body to be tattooed and applies the stencil. Last chance...to back out. You sit on the bench while the artist prepares your pallette and assembles his tools. He gets his condom ready. The excitement elevates and you are overcome with anxiety of the unknown. How much will it hurt? Will I be able to go through with it? Will he be gentle? What if I don't like myself in the morning? Will I get an INFECTION?

You sit in the chair and he begins. Very slow and gentle at first, so you get used to the feeling. This is like the initial penetration. Suddenly you know what it is like...and can relax and go with it. The rest of the outline continues...he is on top and all is okay. You get used to this and want to be in control...you are ready for the next step. He switches needles and begins the shading. It is different this time, but still okay. You are on top now and know you can make it. It's getting close to the end...the climax is near. All the background noise fades away...you focus on the feeling...

"All done." he says and wipes the last of the ink away. Orgasm is complete as you look at your completed tattoo. No longer a virgin. Changed forever. He photographs it to email it to you later (I didn't participate in any photographing during sex so I am not going there...). He bandages you and gives you a "how to care for it" package...he gives you his card. He reminds you that it is addictive...and you know, now that you have had sex, you want to do it again soon. You begin to plan, or at least fantasize about your next tattoo.

You leave and wonder if people can tell, just by looking at you, that you are different, that you are no longer a virgin. You are sure that you are radiating...you want to TELL THE WORLD that you just HAD SEX for the first time!!!! You show everyone whether they want to see it or not, your tattoo.

~ Tattoo Sue

My oh my, just a quickie to metion how AHEAD of trends I am...

See, even at 35, I am "the bomb!" ( thanks to John W. - former student )

Was at Walmart today, and what caught my eye, but a big lipgloss display. Upon closer examination, it was a Lip Smackers display FULL of BIG Lip Smakers, brought back for a LIMITED TIME ONLY! Naturally, being the sucker for advertising that I am, I bought three. There ya go Sue, cat's out of the bag, it is your "10% Done With the School Year" gift!! Enjoy!

- Cheryl

Today's Commentary - My life through lipgloss...

You know, few things give me quite as much pure pleasure as lipgloss. It is one of those things, no matter how crappy the day, if I'm out shopping, and I come across a new lipgloss, the purchase can turn the day around. Truth be told, I am a little obsessive, actually. It is something that, at times, I HAVE to buy. I have no real control over it. I know it sounds shallow, but hey, as I get older, and life and whatnot gets more perplexing and complexing, I say don't question what works.

Even today, I found a pot of lipgloss that I had bought to leave in the car. You can only rely on the potted type lipgloss in the car, unless you want a waxy hell all over your dash. It was crammed in the back of a little storage area below the CD player of the "Mom Mobile." I nearly jumped for joy, immediately unscrewed the cap and smoothed some on. I remembered the day I was shopping that I picked it up, at The Body Shop which I love, but rarely get to. I recalled the joy in the splurge of the 2/$10 treat. The Passionberry scent ( whatever the hell that is ) kickstarted my tropical thoughts, and suddenly I wasn't on the hilly country road that leads to the grocery store, but on a twisting volcanic road in Hawaii. My metalic powder blue Mustang convertible, wide open in evey sense of the word, powering me ahead; wind in my hair, salt making it twisty and ropey in that sexy beach hair way, with the smell of sea air enveloping my every sense.

ALL THAT - JUST FROM SOME SERENDIPITOUS LIPGLOSS!

You know, I guess if I think about it, the obsession started long ago. I can still see my Pink Bubblegum Lip Smacker, back when they were big and fat (remember?) that my stupid brother, who just so happens to post on this blog occationally, cranked up into the cap and ruined! I was SO angry, SO upset! I can also see my Kissing Potion. Remember that one, especially how it used to come in the real GLASS tube with the roller? Well, I can see mine, shattered on the curb, with a big, old Italian lunch lady barking "Come on, nothing you can do about that, leave it and get on the playground." Maybe it is the trauma of childhood that keeps me coming back. An eternal quest to replace what was lost...hell, it is even something I get my daughter into. I have already bought this little pack of lip glosses for her Christmas Stocking. Perpetuation of our own issues - it is what parenting is all about.

So what the hell is my point? I suppose it is GO! Go out, BUY THE LIPGLOSS, or the Fun Dip, or the YoYo, Kebangers, Chinese Jumprope, Rubiks Cube, or Magic Eight Ball. Invest in some sparkly pens and stickers, or in the silly hair acoutrements ( is that even how you spell that? Is that even a word? J.C., what the hell did 4 years of highschool French get me? - but that's another blog...) whatever gets you in touch with your childhood, good or bad. Embrace it, live it, don't forget it, and USE IT to get through the day. It may not be of the highest quality I suppose, but surely, you can think of it as the cheapest therapy around.

- "Hot Lips" (for those who know my High School acting days)
- Cheryl

Bought the new Johnny Mayer and am OH so happy!

I feel, strongly, at times, that I have missed my calling in life. Missed opportunities, missed chances, missed career possibilities...and anyone who knows me well knows I have an iTunes HABIT! Soundtrack of your life and all, soundtrack in general, soundtrack for a mood, I can make it! HOW DO YOU GET THAT JOB? Being the "Soundtrack Guy/Girl?" Well in general, a real calling of mine. Advice would be welcomed, particularly considering my current job DISSATISFACTION!

But I digress. Johnny. Thought I would blog my reactions to the CD as they are varied and complex.
Liner notes - Scott, I know "Musicologists" write those for classical crap, but who does the pop/rock and blues? It could be me, oh how I am sure it could be me!

Waiting On the World to Change

Like the overall vibe of the song, but a bit simple/repetitive. Then there is the little age gap thing..."Me and all my friends we're all misunderstood, they say we stand for nothing..." It is that whole Generation X or Y thing...Scott, it is YOUR first blog entry in a nutshell! Johnny is just younger than me...alas...ahhh, but the stamina of a younger man. Hmmmmm...point for further facination:)

I Don't Trust Myself With Loving You

Speaks to moments..."No I'm not the man I used to be lately, seems you met me at an interesting time..." Confusion and wondering. I really like the overall vibe on this one as well. Very accessible blues - sensual - makes me think naughty thoughts...

Belief

Johnny ventures into political commentary once again - sing-a-longable commentary at that. Seems a little goofy, granted, pop music politics, but I like it a lot. Hey, Bono became Time's Man of the Year. Could John be next? (heehee)

Gravity and Vultures

Both were on his TRY album that he put out with John Mayer Trio -love both songs. I think I like Gravity on the TRY CD a little better though...not sure why, will require further investigation. He IS a blues man, though, blues for the masses, much like Clapton.

Heart of Life and Stop this Train

Real folk sounding. I even heard a little Beatles, and a little Fleetwood Mac. During the first listen, on my way home in the van, my first thought with these songs was of Sting. On all of his solo CD's he has a "country" song, which doesn't really "fit" the album, but somehow grows on you. These two songs are instantly more likeable, but still have that same feel to me, of a real ARTIST trying something NEW. Good music is good music, pop, rock, blues, country...it it's good, it's good. That is the thing I really enjoy, look forward to and respect about John Mayer; his willingness to play the music HE believes in. (...now him "trying" Jessica Simpson? HELLO? She is just TOO dumb in my opinion, although my hubby does argue that she has great breasts...whatever...)

Slow Dancing in a Burning Room

WOW! HOT! Speaks to moments again...LOVE this one...makes me want to go and, well, you know...dance slowly in a burning room, yeah, that's it...

Bold As Love

You can never go wrong covering Jimmy Hendrix, well, as long as you're John Mayer, or Sting...my two men:)
(Still doesn't touch Sting's cover of "Little Wing" though...that one is ethereal.) Proves, I suppose, that youth and beauty will always be overcome by age...and treachery. Love ya Johnny, but Sting's still my man.

Dreaming With a Broken Heart

We've all been there...haunting..."gone, gone, gone, gone gone." A real "John Mayer Ballad", but different sounding/less pop than his old stuff. I am hearing old 80's power ballad chords at some points, just unplugged.

In Repair and I'm Gonna Find Another You

Am liking Repair better of the two, but Gonna Find has a real old sound, kind of nostalgic and sweet in that way...I am just not one for the sweet songs...I like to brood...go figure! Therefore, LOVE the line in Repair "Too many corners in my mind" Ahhhh, he KNOWS ME!

Overall, WELL worth the low, low, Walmart price! LOVE getting CD's there, on their first week of release, for $9.99...what a CD SHOULD cost. I'd have paid more for it, but on my low, low, RC salary, I am glad I paid less:)

-Cheryl

I HATE 4th GRADE
an in depth look at HOMEWORK for today's youngsters

Who the hell invented homework for elementary school students? Oh I know...some Laura Ingall's teacher type who was not married and had no children and had NOTHING better to do so she wanted piles of homework to correct.

I totally agree with you, Cheryl on the homework thing. And you are even a classroom teacher...A REAL teacher, as opposed to ME, only an ART teacher. Like, what would I know about the value of homework!??! I have to stick to things I know, you know, like BASKETWEAVING (thanks, Cindy).

Anyway...my kids have had homework since K. Wasn't the original idea of HOMEWORK anything that you did NOT have time to complete in school? What is with this making up new stuff above and beyond?

We made it through 3rd grade figuring out that homework was always very "do what you can, the best that you can and don't stress over it." So I figured 4th would be more strict, but what came home today in my son's Friday folder blew me away! He has entered the Harvard 4th grade advanced studies program and I didn't even know it!

I am just too tired to write about it all in depth. Basically sentences for spelling words. Who knew it was like a GRADED thing? Homework to this point has never been GRADED...just kind of checked off. Hell, I don't think last year's teacher ever even LOOKED at homework (OR spelling tests for that matter). He seemed motivated...like doing it right when he got in from school, and we let him do it on his own. I didn't correct it for capitalization/punctuation/picky spelling on other words. I wasn't sure really...like am I supposed to let him be independent? Or sit by him and spell out each word and dictate the sentences? I let him be independent seeing as how it was the 1st one.

HOLY CRAP. He got like a 72 one one night's set. 2 points off for making a small "c" in the name Carter (cat), 2 points off for making his lower case "b" backwards (he still has trouble with bd)...2 points off for a run on sentence, that made sense....but she cut it into 2 sentences. He enjoys writing and putting detail into his sentences. Who am I to squelch that? So then I got thinking... how much background has he really HAD on grammar...and sentence structure. ??? I have NO CLUE.

I happened to be emailing with last year's teacher and mentioned it. She said that with RF that was never a focus in 3rd (the writing and corrections). Is that true? It is just VERY VERY picky. I wish I saved the spelling word list. It had 1-10 on one side (1-8?) and 11-20 (9-18?) on the other. There were un numbered bonus words at the bottom of the paper...kind of not in the same rows. For night #1's assignment he did the first "row" as she said (or column WTFC)...and did not include the 2 bonus words below that were kind of but not really part of that row. He lost 20 points for that. He DID...HOWEVER do the words the following night because he thought he had to do them but you couldn't really tell where they belonged.

Now that I write all that I am worked up and pissed off. I was going to let it ALL SLIDE because it was the 1st homework and I had NO CLUE what the expectations were. But now I am mad about that one.

He also writes a letter home to us each week (journal like) and we write back. OF course that is full of weird spelling and grammar and capital and punctuation crap that is not touched. Just mixed messages. Not really sure. I feel a LOOONG email coming on. There was also a spoken assignment to bring in a frog, fish, worm or lizard to school last week. I never saw it in WRITING so I told him it was probably a kind of if you want to type thing. He INSISTED and was excited about it so Dave helped him catch a frog to bring in Thursday in his little screen house carry along thing. Doesn't he get into trouble for bringing it on the bus (we put the cage in a paper Bath Body Works bag). Then after wards I thought yeah...I should have thought about that! DUH! But I just want her to know that I am an INVOLVED parent and NOTHING slips by. He is NINE and still a KID and I want (NEED) the expectations UP FRONT so that I can know what to have him do.

So this leaves me in the role of the CHEATING PARENT. I will have him do the work and then I will play the role of the EDITOR. I will make the corrections and then point them out to him. How do I know how to do this? Oh yes, wait...I remember, MY MOTHER USED TO DO IT FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why? Because she hated homework back in the 1970s too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hell, maybe I will freaking DO the homework FOR him.

So yes, I will be composing a letter to his teacher about all of this, omitting my admission that I will now be doing his corrections.

On top of nightly homework, of course are the 15 minutes of reading time required each night. Do teachers realize that today's "NIGHTS" are only 3 hours long? That is IF you do not participate in a SPORT? Gone are days when kids got out of school at 3pm and arrived home at 3:10 to a plate of warm toll house cookies. Kids get off a bus pushing 5pm, then there is some down time, TV, talking about the day...then dinner, a bath if necessary.

Ok, I need to stop analyzing and writing. I am getting angrier by the minute.
Signed (at the request of our new contributor),
~Sue

Happiness of the Day : New John Mayer album out - WooHoo!

Gripe of the Day : Elementary School Homework

Figured I would start with a brief positive item, to retain my Zen, but really, this homework thing in elementary schools pisses me off. I mean, I am a teacher, and homework has its place and all, but I never really realized how much I hated it until I became a parent. It wasn't such a biggie in K and 1st grades, as my son wasn't as involved in other activities, but now, it has just gotten crazy. I mean, tonight, my husband and I both had meetings after school, so the kids didn't get picked up until 4:30. Which, realistically, for most families is EARLY. Then we had to have dinner by 5:30 so that my son and husband could head out to soccer by 6:15. Yikes! So here I was at the kitchen sink, cleaning up, and thinking about this whole phenomenon. I mean, I remember VERY LITTLE homework from elementary school. Projects every now and again sure, but when did honest to goodness homework become status quo? At our school, and I know this is where my son's young, non tenured teacher is coming from, it is EXPECTED that I will have a homework policy in my classroom and it is EXPECTED that I give homework 3 nights a week, minimum. Being the little rebel that I am, I find creative ways around that, but still. My son has had homework each night, and it is easy and all, but I still find it an annoyance. It takes away from our time with our family, and dictates, yet again, how we will spend our time. It is a "little black cloud" of school still hanging over our heads, when we really want to just come home and do something DIFFERENT. My kids come home and they do play outside first, then they want to zone out with some TV, God forbid, perhaps play a few video games, talk with me and my husband, help cook dinner, or just PLAY at whatever thing or toy or game they missed while away at school all day. They just want to BE. We allow children so little of that type of free, unstructured time anymore, and I am seeing this homework as just another thing on the laundry list of "grow up faster" societal pulls.

I also got to thinking, homework in a Jr. High or Highschool MIGHT get done in a studyhall. Also, don't those kids get out of school and HOUR before the elementary kid thus making for more TIME to do homework? AND, lo and behold, don't they go to bed later? Here I am, cramming more school into the 4 hours my kid has between sitter pickup and bed! IT'S INSANE!

Well, I didn't do much to retain my Zen here did I? Better luck next time, but hey, at least I got my gripe off my chest...this blog IS good for something...see Dad!

- Cheryl

Ahhhh, memories of wine and fireworks!
Let's see if I can figure out how to put this on our profile. Granted not the BEST photo of us, but it is "jovial", shall we say! Also, this gives us TWO photos on here that could QUICKLY be sent to the school in the event of our untimely joint death, and seamlessly uploaded to the school website in leu of any days off and such...HA!

- Cheryl

Yep - you can tell that the school year has begun as NEITHER of us has had a spare moment to breathe, let alone blog! And you know, another sad thing, our last several blogs delt with WORK and END OF SUMMER! Now, granted, I suppose this is a mental outlet, a place to vent, a place to get out of your mind what is on your mind, but come on! Can't we write about something OTHER than work now? After a frantic Monday getting a classroom put together, a boring Tuesday of staff development, and a Wednesday through Friday of beginning the arduous task of "retraining" a new set of younguns, I need SOMETHING ELSE!

So, how about this topic...Fall and food.

I am obsessed, as my profile divulges, with food, FoodTV, cooking etc. Actually, I suppose it is less an obsession and more a surrender to food. I know that in my current mom status I am required, by motherhood law, to plan for and prepare 3 meals a day 7 days a week for my two little ones and I suppose for my husband as well, so the way I look at it, I may as well enjoy it. My spouse is a good cook, and takes up the chef's hat regularly, but the overall responsibillity for family feedings falls to me. Certainly, I am not whipping up gourmet meals nightly. I work full time for goodness sake! I am a lover of takeout pizza, which is a good thing, as that is pretty much the only fast food one can get in the little rural haven I happen to reside in. Also, frighteningly, my daughter's new found love of corn dogs of all things has become a part of our occational dining repertoire, but I digress. Fall is really the season I LOVE for food. No kidding, really? Well how contrived of you, the season of the harvest? What an original concept! But really, what is better than the first day you feel that fall nip in the air? It comes as a surprise, and don't you just LOVE a surprise? It gets the senses tingling, and sets the mind in a new direction. This time of year, this time of new beginnings (oh no, ALMOST slipping into school talk here, I had better watch how I navigate!) I always get a metaphysical boost. When that comes, along with it I get a craving for soup. Soup - goodness in a bowl. Connections with health and wellness, as well as a complete meal in one pot. Complexity and simplicity, inherent to one recipe. Soup is the real deal.

There is a wonderful children's book by Sharon Creech, adolescent author extraordinaire, called Granny Torelli Makes Soup. It is all about a girl and a boy who are best friends, and the girl's Italian grandmother who teaches them life lessons as she makes her "zuppa." And what myriad of life lessons do come from soup! Ingredients go together sometimes with the randomness of immediate availability, sometimes with specificity of care and thought. Things simmer, combine and recombine, finally, usually successfully, creating something new altogether. Edible fortitude, new and different, comes from things ordinary. Things allowed to simmer emerge anew.

Now I am REALLY disturbed. I have brought school in the form of a children's book into my anti school post! What is wrong with me? Can I not compartmentalize? Can I not pull away and put away?

Maybe though, this is the key, the common thread. Why the love of fall? The harvest, the new beginnings of all sorts, brings back all of my "ingredients." School, Family, Work, Friends, Self, Responsibilites, Activities. These all come back to the forefront and go into this crazy soup called my Life. Ingredients need to be added now and then. Seasonings add spice, sometimes too much, sometimes too little. Creative modifictions need to be made, and can be made through the joy and freedom that is cooking and that is life. My zuppa needs the attention of an occational stirring. My soup needs to simmer, be tasted, allowed time and granted patience. It is at times altered, and changed, and in the end comes a new combination. Forever different, somehow the same, often hard to say how or when, and often too intricate to recreate. Basic and complex all at once. Fresh, and alive. Fall is new beginnings of a different sort, fall is a new start to life.

-Cheryl (as a dear friend suggested we sign our posts:)

OHMYGOD! Anyone who said Labor Day Weekend was a VACATION just was NOT a TEACHER!
I could end this post right now, and anyone in my teaching audience would understand, but for the rest of you, I will go on. (and on, and on, and on...)

To teachers, this is the REAL END. We are so selfish to even gripe, I mean SO often the thought goes through my mind that some people only get 2 weeks of vacation, if that. But we get 10 - yes - 10 - TEN weeks...2x5, 5+5, 5x2, 2+2+2+2+2. (of course it is JUST because I am a teacher, particularly a teacher of third grade teachers who is charged with the responsibility of teaching the "Multiplication Machine," that I write this particular sentence this particular way:)

It is funny because I am pretty sure I approach this last week of "summer" before Labor Day weekend the same way every year. I go into it saying I am going to keep it sacred...I have my days carved out that I am going to work in school, I have a goal for what I would like to do with the week for myself, for my family, and I figure that Labor Day weekend will be mine/ours to spend with myself, and my family and my OWN LIFE...then the inevitable happens. The stress of work begins to poke at my mind. Things need to get done. A classroom that you thought was pretty much good to go is suddenly a complete and utter disaster that you can't even imagine functioning in. You panic about whether or not you did actually copy papers and worksheets that you think you did. You try to go into school and the cleaning staff is working hard and you can't access your classroom...the list is endless.

And these stresses aren't limited to starting back into your classroom routine, they are present at home as well. You suddenly realize all of the home projects that you didn't get done in your 10 WEEKS of time, or that need to be wrapped up. You realize your personal goals for the summer were really only half met, if that. Your kids need school clothes and supplies, physicals, activity sign ups, and, you possibly have family knocking at your door wanting to see you for the "Holiday Weekend" completely unaware that as they are winding down, you are all wound up.

It is complaining, a bit I suppose, because as I said, we do get 10 WEEKS. But boy oh boy, that September 1st pull is strong. It is such a gift that we work in a profession that allows us to renew, and to start fresh each year, but those fresh starts can be tough. In a couple of weeks it will all wind down. We will fall back into our normal school year routines, so familar and comforting. The year will progress and amazingly, May will come, and with it thoughts of another summer. And I suppose that is how the mind has to settle its disrest. There will always be another summer, there is always tomorrow, and what doesn't get done today will still be there in the morning. I hope upon hope to TRY to enjoy these last few moments of summer, and Stress, I suppose it is time for the "Welcome Back!" greeting. It is time to start our complicated little dance yet again:)

- Cheryl

Summer's End

How sad it is to say good bye to summer. It seems as soon as we flipped the the calendar from July to August, the smell of fall in the air was detectable.

Now it is time to start thinking of cooler air, back to school, back to WORK and a regular routine. How lucky we are to have a job which has a definite start and stop cycle. It gives us a chance each year to start NEW.

As we wind down this last week, I hope to relax and regroup before heading back. I wish I were able to carry over some of my summer routine into the back to work mode. Like NOT DOING my HAIR! All summer I just wash n go. I think it looks fine...even GREAT sometimes...but once September comes, out comes the blow drier, flat iron and hairspray. Its like my hair knows it isn't summer and WON'T behave with the wash n go treatment. Half assed up dos with clips look great all summer, but try to pull that off at work? NOT...

Oh well. I guess it is just one of those things.  

An image to help us retain that Summer Zen!
(Do keep in mind, to further that Zen, that there were VERY CUTE surfer boys out on those waves when I took this photo...just too far away. I NEED a telephoto!)

- Cheryl

OK, Sue is kicking my butt on this blog and I have to get in the game it seems! We're at the tail end, though, you know, of summer vacation...the teacher's golden egg. There are many teachers that work in the summer, and goodness knows the salary, in particular at SOME districts which will remain nameless, could use some augmentation. Still, I tend to subscribe to the money vs. time philosophy. Could I make more money in the summer, sure, but the regular school year gets so hectic. Summer is my unwind time, my creative time, time to play with my family and friends, time to tan and travel and cook and shop, time to read, and time to write. I mean, look at this blog. We'd never have started this with school year responsibilities piled up, but with summer relaxation in full swing, look what happened! We have a great thing started. To me, TIME is of equal, or perhaps higher importance to money, for the most part.

Time and money and salaries aside, though, we still have not uncovered why Sue is posting away, leaving me in the literary dust. Well I'll tell ya why, she is still on summer vacation! Me, oh joy of joys, I got to go in to work with my grade level team for the last two days. Now granted, the days were paid, and another teacher phenomenon is the whole "How are we making the money last until the first Sept. paycheck" dance, but paid at what cost? The cost was that I INSTANTLY ended my summer Zen as soon as I walked in that door.

Which leads me to a question. Why is it that it takes us so long to relax into summer vacation, or any vacation, but that we can spring right back to work mode with the flip of a switch? After the last two days, I am right back where I was in June... I have had this happen repeatedly to myself and have seen it in others firsthand. Vacation is coming, so you work like a dog to be sure you are caught up at work, or ready for the holiday the vacation encompasses, only to get sick over the vacation and lose half of your time. Or there is the option of travel while on vacation from work, which involves an inordinate amount of preparation, encompasses a tremendous amount of stress what with today's travel costs, restrictions, etc, and which produces, in the end, a more exhausted person than the one that left work in the first place. What was meant to refresh and replenish, exhausts and depleats...it is the classsic, "After my vacation I need a vacation." Still, we jump right back into our jobs and responsibilities with flawless precision, dog tired, but performing even in our collective states of fatigue. If only we could jump to vacation mode as quickly as we jump back to work.

This year at school that is my goal. I suppose I should alert my principal, that although she has my APPR goals neatly typed up and ready on her computer, and while her back to school letter outlined all of our "glorious" building goals for the coming year, I have a little something else in mind. I am going to TRY really hard to hold on to my summer glow. I am going to bitch less and laugh more. I am going to work hard, but remember to relax as well. I am going to do what I can each day, remembering that a day has a finite number of hours and I am only one person. And most of all, I am going to try to internalize Sue's and my philosophy so as not to get so busy in my career that I forget about my LIFE! You know, if I can really make it happen, what a gift to me, my friends and family, and ultimately, what a better teacher I will be. Only time will tell...

- Cheryl

What is that word...that means when 2 things contradict each other? I am having an issue here and need a thesaurus or something. Is there one of these on this blog? Where is my college thesaurus anyway...Okay...I just looked up what I thought was the word on Webster.com and I was correct. Oxymoron. When 2 things contradict each other, like cruel kindness. Yep. Oxymoron will be tonight's reflection...

Anyway, that is tonight's topic. Those contradictions can sometimes be a pleasant surprise, as this photo depicts so well. There is a little girl dressed to perform a ballet, placed in a setting so far removed from any stage. Instead of an audience, we see cows. Instead of a bouquet of flowers cradled in her arms, a flowering plant hangs above her. For all these reasons, I love this photograph. But what happens when these things don't work? When they make us feel uneasy? When something about them just isn't right?

Like a GREEN flag flying high on a flag pole at school telling kids to JUST SAY NO! to drugs on our drug awareness day. Something about the color green tells us to just say YES! Green is relaxing...green makes us feel good, green is money, luck, parties and fun. If drugs come along and are offered when we are amongst so much green, where is the warning? Where is our RED LIGHT? I cannot say at that moment that I would just say no. The green JUST SAY NO flag just did not work for me.

Yesterday, while sitting outside the YMCA, waiting to pick up my daughter from camp, I watched a woman in her late 30s, wearing a YMCA HEALTH AND FITNESS STAFF t-shirt slowly work her obese body up the stairs. Something about that made me very on edge. What message is this? That working out isn't really the answer? That the staff here couldn't possibly help us attain our ideal weight and strength because, after all, look at how they look themselves? It is like going to a dentist with decayed teeth or to a Doctor who smokes. Something just doesn't feel right here!

My favorite was the conversation I overheard between 2 older ladies at JCPenney yesterday. They appeared to be in their early 60s perhaps. A tad on the heavy side, but well dressed and smiling. The lady in blue said hello to the woman in coral, whom she had not seen for some time. Blue remarked to Coral how well she was looking and complimented her tan. Ah, the tan. Looking great while killing us at the same time! But then the contradiction. Coral said that she knew she really shouldn't be out in the sun...as she was just finishing up a round of CHEMO!!! She had had cancer and been declared cancer free, but then some returned and she had to begin again. How sad!

But as I watched Coral, all dressed up and perfectly accessorized, she was happy. She was upbeat, she was getting better, and she was TAN. She'll beat this cancer again I am certain (and it was not skin cancer on a side note)...she is the little girl in the yellow tutu, on her imaginery stage with her farmlife audience. Isn't that the kind of contradiction we all need in our lives?

Reflecting on New Motherhood

I can remember the arrival of my first child into the world like it happened yesterday. My second actually seems like longer ago than the first.

The first was a fairy tale delivery. The labor every woman dreams of. Fast with some cramping, then pushing and 4 hours later, a baby to hold! This all happened between the hours of 8:45pm and 12:44am. I never slept that night. Filled with excitment and questions of what just happened, and was that really labor? Then the stream of visitors to the hospital. First grandbaby on both sides of the family.

That night I was ready to crash, but I felt pressured to give nursing a try which seemed like an every 30 minute ordeal. I figured that I could sleep when I went home the next day. Babies sleep a lot, right? Sleep when the baby sleeps was the advice everyone gave.

He came home on a crisp fall day. I should have known something was in the air, as he was born on a hot and humid summer night, just 2 days before. Everything had changed. I walked up the driveway a different person than I had walked down it just 2 days ago. I look back on the first 4 weeks of his life as hellish and a complete absence of sleep. I learned that post partum depression is more than just crying about nothing, or feeling a little sad when you should really be happy. For me it meant wanting my body back, wanting to sleep, wanting to be a human again. I knew I hit rock bottom when my husband came home from work 2 weeks into the motherhood thing, took one look at me and said, You really don't like him, do you? I broke down crying because ya know what? I really did not like him. He refused to sleep more than a half hour at any given time, refused to nurse, and basically cried between all of that. I handed my husband the baby and went and packed up the breast pump. I was done. I couldn't wait to wake up (from a half hour sleep of course) dry, fit into my normal bras, and not spend hours pumping only to pour it into a bottle to feed to him.

Then there was the issues of visitors. During his first couple weeks...people came out of the woodwork to visit. Not at the best hours or on the best days. I think I can even recall hiding and pretending that we weren't home for one visitor. When one visitor called to ask when would be a good time, I told her in 10 months? I was serious...but she laughed and came an hour later bearing a seasonally inappropriate outfit and a basket of scary bath gels for me. I was in no mood to visit. My favorite visitors were my husband's friends we had not seen or heard from in 3 years. They had heard through the grapevine that we were expecting, and thought they'd drop in to see. Weren't they excited to be able to see the baby on just our second night home from the hospital! They showed up at 8pm and stayed till 10pm. I was exhausted and very pissed off.

Of course things settled a bit (just in time to return to work and take him to a babysitter!) and I got glimpses of what it was like to enjoy your baby. I was allowed a small chunk of sleep here and there and granted myself a hot shower and at least a blow dry a day, whether he was crying or not.

Baby number 2 joins the life you already have in progress, as opposed to your joining the life of your first. There were other issues going on and that is a separate blog posting, but all in all the second, the girl, was much smoother.

Since becoming a Mom, I have become an aunt to 3 nieces, the 3rd being born just over a week ago. She lives a couple of hours away with my brother and sister in law. I haven't been able to see her yet, due to logistics, life and their own new parenting jigsaw puzzle they are trying to sort through. My brother emailed me just last night to cancel our planned visit today to meet her, due to exhaustion and plans to catch up on sleep and pumping. While a bit hurt, and saddened, I can recall all too well the feeling of wanting the world to go away and just be able to find a piece of myself again...

Today's commentary...pencil leg jeans.
As Sue mentioned, we refer to ourselves, currently on an amature basis, as opinions for hire, and quite frankly, I wish the fashion industry had consulted us before bringing back the 80's. I mean, come on, did we really need to go back to the pencil leg jeans, and leggings? Just the other day I was at the mall and they were EVERYWHERE, along with ripped stuff a la Flashdance, deep V neck "shaker" sweaters, and I am sure I saw a glimpse of Neon fabric before I had to leave, muttering under my breath in disgust. Now, I will be the first to admit to the comfort of these styles, but is comfort really where we are headed. I had JUST gotten used to lower rise jeans, and more form fitting clothes...and had actually come to like them quite a lot. Lower rise and a bit of a flare leg does WONDERS for a girl with hips, particularly a TALL girl with hips. You all know what I mean. And we won't even go into the whole concept of stretch in jeans and the fact that I will need at least a week of leave time from work and indefinite therapy should THAT style trend go by the wayside. And, at the age of 35, to be pretty comfortable, finally, with my body, and wear snug things that SHOW that I am female...well it was a BIG step from a girl who dressed through the 80's. NOW they are trying to put me back in the pencil legs and leggings, which a "girl with hips" MUST wear with a long, formless tunic in order to be DECENT. WHY I ask you all, WHY?
Maybe I ought to look into therapists a bit today...just a thought...

- Cheryl

So this weekend, Cheryl and I decided that we have such a wealth of knowledge about an unlimited arena of topics, that it is a shame to keep all of that between us. We need to open a consulting firm. We can offer the cut right to the point version for a minimal fee, or we can ease in with the here's what you're doing right first before cutting into the criticism, at a slightly higher cost.

Yesterday we visited several wineries in the Finger Lakes area. We had several pointers at the very first place we visited. It was an impressive mansion of a building overlooking Seneca Lake, with beautiful decor. But the help was new, and needed some training before she should have been allowed to pour wine. The tasting options given were divided into 4 categories from which you chose one, which were quite confusing because some contained 2 of the same wines that were in other categories. It was way too confusing and the wine taster really just wants the educated wine expert to just go down the list and tell you what is what. Needless to say, there was only 1 bottle purchased there.

We liked the winery that was laid back and fun, with flirtatious young men surving up the wine, with coupons given towards purchases made there. Several bottles and T shirts were purchased there.

Moving on to a wedding reception today...several things were pointed out in need of attention. No salt and pepper placed on the tables, candles were not lit prior to the bridal party's arrival, only one napkin being provided per table. There were some serious things going on here. Because there was no offical request for the consulting service, we simply just called these out as observations.