So, are you there God? It's me, Cheryl. Here I am, home, alone, well, with my 7 year old daughter, and my husband and son are gone on a Cub Scout camping trip, and I am here, as I said, home, and essentially alone. It is a funny thing, really, that in 37 years of life, and nearly 15 of marriage, I do believe it is the one time I actually have been alone for any length. Isn't that sad? I can even retrace the path of my lack of aloneness. I mean, for 18 years I lived in my parent's house. Then it was on to college. Directly out of college I was married, and now we are here. I have been away from my home, alone, two times actually, to give birth...Tim didn't stay at the hospital with me. And I did make a solo trip or two to overnights and weekends at friend's houses, camps, and even one trip sans husband to New Orleans, but to be alone in my house is an unusual thing. I am actually feeling a little empowered. I have done what I wanted, gone where I wanted, and it has all been on my schedule. I've avoided cooking, drunk too much wine, eaten too much crap, and have overdosed a bit on old Gilmore Girls episodes. I have re-read Are You There God? It's Me Margaret, again, this time with a flashlight under the covers with my daughter, fast asleep next to me, as on her insistence she had to sleep in my bed. Nicer I'd say, than the first time I read it...when it was me and a flashlight, in the nook between my 70's bedroom paneling and my bed, hoping I wouldn't get caught. It has been a girly weekend...and as much as it has been a little odd, and a little different, and admittedly a little quiet and void of adult conversation (thanks for remedying that a bit by coming over for a while Sue! And bearing jewelry to boot) it has been nice. It has also been a time of realization that if something were to happen in my life, you know, I suppose I really would and could survive. I mean, it is not lost on me that it IS a great comfort that my daughter is here in the house...granted she is 7, but still, I am thinking that even if something happened...and you all know what I mean...I could go on. Maybe, finally, at 37, I really am a grownup? Maybe...
Saturday, May 17, 2008
So, are you there God? It's me, Cheryl. Here I am, home, alone, well, with my 7 year old daughter, and my husband and son are gone on a Cub Scout camping trip, and I am here, as I said, home, and essentially alone. It is a funny thing, really, that in 37 years of life, and nearly 15 of marriage, I do believe it is the one time I actually have been alone for any length. Isn't that sad? I can even retrace the path of my lack of aloneness. I mean, for 18 years I lived in my parent's house. Then it was on to college. Directly out of college I was married, and now we are here. I have been away from my home, alone, two times actually, to give birth...Tim didn't stay at the hospital with me. And I did make a solo trip or two to overnights and weekends at friend's houses, camps, and even one trip sans husband to New Orleans, but to be alone in my house is an unusual thing. I am actually feeling a little empowered. I have done what I wanted, gone where I wanted, and it has all been on my schedule. I've avoided cooking, drunk too much wine, eaten too much crap, and have overdosed a bit on old Gilmore Girls episodes. I have re-read Are You There God? It's Me Margaret, again, this time with a flashlight under the covers with my daughter, fast asleep next to me, as on her insistence she had to sleep in my bed. Nicer I'd say, than the first time I read it...when it was me and a flashlight, in the nook between my 70's bedroom paneling and my bed, hoping I wouldn't get caught. It has been a girly weekend...and as much as it has been a little odd, and a little different, and admittedly a little quiet and void of adult conversation (thanks for remedying that a bit by coming over for a while Sue! And bearing jewelry to boot) it has been nice. It has also been a time of realization that if something were to happen in my life, you know, I suppose I really would and could survive. I mean, it is not lost on me that it IS a great comfort that my daughter is here in the house...granted she is 7, but still, I am thinking that even if something happened...and you all know what I mean...I could go on. Maybe, finally, at 37, I really am a grownup? Maybe...
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