Well, we have just survived another holiday season at our house. No, you didn't miss something...it is a holiday specific to our family; The Month of Birthdays, and truth be told, in the grand scheme it is not even over if you count peripheral family, but for our nuclear bunch, it is, finally, DONE!
It has been kind of crazy around here in March as I turned 36 on the 2nd, Gwynn turned 6 on the 8th, and Devin 9 on the 12th...if my tired mind is not going dyslexic on the numbers. As the month has gone on, and on, and on, we have attended a John Mayer concert for me (photos from my "friend" to come in the next blog), had home birthday parties, brought treats to school, had friend parties, all times two of course, and had the whole famdamily up for an afternoon. It has been exhausting, and exhilerating at the same time, and fun overall, but I am finding a first moment for quiet reflection right now - a treat to the time crunch that we have been living for about 3 weeks.
Along with birthday celebration, somehow, we have all aged another year...the overall premise of birthdays being, naturally, to mark in some signifigant way, the passage of time. Yep, when you get down to the proverbial brass tacks, it is true...I AM getting older. Of course going to a rock concert for your birthday, while youth inducing, can remind you of how much older you are as well. This was actually my second time seeing Johnny M. in concert...and he was wonderful just the same...but I did notice, it is getting a little loud, you know? I will give myself some latitude here, as the concert was in the Onondaga War Memorial, essentially a hockey rink, fairly small, and concrete and metal, so the acoustics, shall we say, leave a bit to be desired overall, but still...it was a little loud. Not to mention, a commercial today informed me that both VanHalen, who I just LOVE, and R.E.M. (never favorites of mine, but still, who could forget "Losing My Erection...I mean Religion?") are being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I guess we are all in this together, my generation really IS growing up.
There are a lot of things cropping up like that lately. Things where I am reminded that I fit into a different demographic...times where I have to check a different box, you know, the 32-42 box on the survey and such. Things take a little longer, I get a little tireder a little earlier, a little more oftener, I forget things more. It seems as well like a lot of patterns and events in life are repeating themselves. It is not like life is becoming boring or anything, but it is a bit more predictable, and in turn, it goes SO fast. It is the end of birthday month now, but it will be a flash, I am sure, and it will be here again.
In as much as I am willing to acknowledge this passage of time, and while I will fully admit that it is preferable to the ultimate alternative, I am also finding myself fighting it in subtle, and not so subtle ways. We recently read the book I Feel Bad About My Neck by Nora Ephron for my bookgroup, and while Sue and I both had the same opinion about it, namely that we didn't QUITE relate to it yet, and that we could've written a few of the segments in a more humorous and cohesive way, it still brought some thoughts on aging to the forefront of the mind. I have been more conscious of my hair for example, and have been enjoying skin care and makeup more than I have in a long time, finding ways it can help and hide things that, admittedly could use a little help and hiding. Makeup was so exciting at about ages 10-12, when you were so despearate to look OLDER. I am finding, now, it is my friend again, but in that money sucking quest for the fountain of youth.
My clothes, too, have gone through something of a metamorphosis in the last few years, as I have felt "olderness" creeping up on me. Here, I feel, though, that as I have aged, my clothes have become more "me" and more modern. For example, as much as I used to love the "teacher jumper," now I refuse to wear the clothes that scream "I'm a teacher/I'm a mom." I hasten to say, it is in some ways a response to the cultural shift, which can be seen in the evolution of "Teacher Barbie" from jean skirt and "teacher print" vest to red print strappy, but appropriate sundress and red platform sandals. See, Barbie's right with us girls, using the clothes to preserve her youth, and she'd got a lot more years on her than I do. While I will readily admit to the roles of both mother and teacher, I don't want or need to wear either as a label...after all, they are as much a part of me as any other part of my identity. The way I DO want to dress these days is as a woman ; beautiful, current, successful, powerful and sexy...I want to dress as an adjective, not a noun. (see, told you the teacher thing was inescapable...)
Finally, there is this fascination with all things of my youth. Another marketing ploy to be certain, but oh well. I have already expressed my love of iTunes, and truth be told, the vast majority of my downloads are certainly 70's and 80's hits. Truth be further told, I was just pulled away from finishing this rant by "VH1's 100 Greatest Songs of the 80's," and final truth, I have some issues with their picks and orders. Then there is this attempt at recapturing youth through my children. You all know this one. The joy of buying my daughter the clogs I wasn't allowed to have, and watching Star Wars the RIGHT way (Episodes 4-6 and THEN 1-3) on several Saturday and Sunday afternoons, with my son, when surely I should be cleaning my house, or paying some bills. It is in these moments when I reflect, relive and revel in the joy and plentitude that has been, and will be, my life. I suppose that is it, in a nutshell. Life goes on, and is a one way street. There is no going back, but there are times to reflect, times to try certain things again. As I watched VH1 I saw Keith Richards, once playing "Start Me Up" near 40 in 1982, and more recently in some taped footage from that Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony, which he must've been invited to perform at. I mean, the guy looked old in '82, looks positively pickled now, and is still on a long worldwide tour with the Rolling Stones as we speak, despite a nasty fall from a coconut tree. Maybe we all ought to take a few hints from Keith. Life is for living, age really is just a number, perhaps booze and cigarettes have preservative qualities, and being a little nutty can really help us along at times. So HAPPY BIRTHDAY to us, to 36, and bring on the coconut, be it chocolate, tanning lotion or preferably the coconut rum seved up from Coco the Cabana boy! Life is here, it is now, and it is good!
-Cheryl
