See? I officially have jinxed myself with the proclamation of a "blog plan!" I have been so damn busy I haven't even gotten Sport's Gal's "Dressing Slutty at Halloween" post up here...OR taken the time to talk about this thing I read about this week...Fantasy Congress, which I understand as people (geeks - sadly - my "kind") playing with Senators and House Reps LIKE THEY ARE A FANTASY SPORTS TEAM! SO much to write, SO little time all of a sudden...
And so begins the 2006 holiday season, I suppose...Halloween this week, then Thanksgiving and Christmas. Oh well, I know I will have PLENTY of "blog time" when we are up to our necks in lake effect snow come winter:)
See ya then I guess - Ha!
-Cheryl

...and wouldn't you know that JUST as I declare my "Blog Plan" online, I would screw it up. I mean here I was last Wednesday, all cocky and ready to get more blogging done in a regular, real life, workweek...and the power goes out. Then came important union meetings/furnace guy Thursday, Work to Rule AND a broken down car Friday, brothers in town from Boston on Saturday, parents to visit on Sunday, and a car to pick up from the shop on Monday (not to mention work!) . CRAZY! We'll see this week...see if I can get a real midweek blog up and see if I can resume my "weekend edition" on Saturday!
Beck's "I'm a Loser Baby" is playing in my mind. See? It is that whole "Personal Soundtrack" thing...I'm telling you! AND, to think it is Happy 5th Birthday to iPod today! Santa, do you read blogs? If so, PRETTY PLEASE?!

I had this great thought today to begin a weekly addition to the blog..."Obscure Song YOU Should Know." I have been trying to discipline myself to put some sort of post up every weekend, and as much as my contributions are essentially mindless drivel, I have had no problem living up to this personal expectation. Therefore, I was thinking that this midweek post would up the ante a bit, if you will. SO, I sat down tonight to begin...and therein is my problem. WHERE do I begin? What is the FIRST song to feature? I mean, those of you who know me well know, this is like choosing which of my children I love the most. What I thought would be simple, suddenly is complex.

Then there is this thought. Do I want to feature obscure songs, or "soundtrack of my life" songs, or my "songs I'd want on a desert island" songs? Am thinking the last one in particular could be more fun.

Off to ponder over root beer floats with my daughter, then she's off to bed, and I'm off to CD land...stay tuned to see which baby I pick.
- Cheryl

"The Friday Night Alcoholic Speaks"

SO, since I am CRACKING UP at Sue's proposal for Adult Happy Meals, and since I am half in the bag, I thought, why not blog?
So sad that my Friday nights have come to this. Sitting around at my house, drinking, emailing and blogging! Somehow, I don't think these activities would be allowed up on the new "Wall of Wellness" at my school, eh?

Thinking about Friday, though, you know when you get those annoying email surveys and one of the questions is "What is your favorite day of the week?" Well, for me, always and forever, it has and will be Friday. As a kid, Friday always meant pizza at school for lunch AND pizza for dinner. Now you have to understand, this was no government cheese pizza that our school served either, oh no! Ours was made by those Italian lunch ladies...granted, they were brutal when it came to broken Kising Potion, but could they ever cook! When I was little, Friday was family trips to the library. Yep, you're right, total dorkage, but trust that my friend and I found our way into the "naughty" area of the nonfiction. I knew about a lot by about 4th grade - very technical stuff, but still - it's the POWER of reading kids, the POWER of reading!!!!! Friday as a kid meant sleepovers with my best friends AND The Dukes of Hazzard. Oh Bo Duke, how you helped me over the heartbreaking realization that Leif Garrett was a drug addict.

Then, in Jr. High, Friday meant dances, which were cool at that time, but became horribly passe with the onset of Highschool. Teenage years were Fridays running all over God's creation with whomever had just gotten their driver's liscence. We could so easily amuse ourselves...sporting events, ice cream at Friendly's and renting VHS movies at a different person's house each week. Well, then of course there was, in the advent of the highschool years, making out with boyfriends evey now and again! Yep, Fridays ruled!

Then the true debauchery of college started. THAT is where the drinking began! I can recall MANY a wonderfully fun Friday, and at the same time, have a few I really can't remember...or have to rely on others to remember for me. What a time! All through it, though, I watched "thirtysomething" and WISHED to be "grown up" and "responsible" and "adult." WHY was I in such a hurry?

Well here I am, in the Friday nights of my thirties, and as I said, drinking and blogging and emailing. What is my problem? But you know - I am happy. I have a terrifically comfy home, a husband who, for whatever reason, understands, and some damn cute kids. My parents and brother are all (generally) happy and (generally) healthy - we're nothing if not optimists. I have great, true and long lasting friends, one that is my partner in crime on this crazy website! I have coffee and shopping and wine, and I have my iTunes habit. I think I have decided that it is my own online dollar store. It seems that for $.99 I can relive those Friday nights of the past. I can sing along to "I Love Rock and Roll," or to "Centerfold," where THIS TIME I actually UNDERSTAND the words. I can be your "Venus," or channel the vixen in the Whitesnake videos. It is my house, and I can "Rock the Cradle of Love" around my living room in my underware if I want to, although I MAY opt for a glass of white wine over stains from red. I guess even in the years since highschool, I am still pretty easily amused, and you know, that may not be such a bad thing. I still love a good FRIDAY!

- Cheryl

Today's Random Crap: Adult Happy Meals

So I had this thought over the summer but after a few glasses of wine out of the box (I know, Tim...you don't approve..), I am going back to ponder it. You bring your kids to McDs, and no matter what the theme, they are excited to see what toy they get in the Happy Meal. The toy must be opened before any food is conusmed and any sticker application or assembly must also happen before the meal commences.

So why then, can't we as adults get a toy? I think of the small items that could be added to my #4 meal that would just totally make my day. A BIG LIP SMACKER lip gloss, perhaps? Or a little sex toy from the new KY line. Any of these things would just make that Big Mac all the more exciting!

If you recall, McDs did try this for a while. They gave out pedometers with their salads for a short introductory time. This was a big hit. Not for me so much, as I was forced to face the fact that I really don't move enough. But they had the right idea...they just need to broaden their prize offering. Like fun book marks for us reading type. Or perhaps pocket calcultors for those of us who need help figuring the tip?

It brings to mind just how much the little things mean in life. I mean, add a polly pocket with a 4 piece McNugget meal and you have made a little girl's day. Add a matchbox car to a little boy's cheeseburger meal and life is good!

Perhaps I should sell this idea to the King of Franchises...

OK, ever read something like THIS? The Sports Gal on Page Two ESPN - she's my heroine!

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The Sports Gal Speaks
Bill and his friend Hench own a fake baseball team together. I call it the League of Dorks. It's hard to say how much time they spend on it, but I'd guess five hours a week, maybe more. Hench is one of Bill's nicest friends, but he's even nuttier about this stuff than Bill. One time, I peeked over Bill's shoulder as he was reading a bullet-pointed e-mail from Hench about their fake team. It was like a legal document, I couldn't believe it. Hench used to leave messages and not identify himself, you'd just hear, "message No. 1" and then Hench complaining about something that happened with their fake team. He wouldn't even say, "Hey, guys, this is Hench" first. So I made Bill get a second phone line just for Hench's calls -- they call it the "Bat Phone." I can't believe I married someone who needed a second phone line to talk about a fake baseball team.
You'd think the extra line was enough, but no. A couple of weeks ago, Bill and I were driving home from somewhere and trying to figure out something. Bill said, "I bet Hench knows," and before I knew it, he was calling Hench and they were talking about the League of Dorks. And I was trapped in the car listening to them. It was like being at the nail salon when everything's quiet and relaxing, then something happens and the nail ladies all start screaming in another language. I have no idea what they're talking about, but they're agitated and talking in annoying voices and it's not relaxing at all. That's what Bill and Hench sounded like. Actually, this was worse because I can understand the language and still can't understand them. Finally, I got mad and told Bill to hang up or I was going to jump out of the car.

This week, I noticed playoff baseball started, so I asked Bill, "What happened with the League of Dorks?" Bill said they won first prize. He didn't even seem happy about it. He was just relieved that they didn't lose. Then he said he's having a celebratory lunch with Hench next week. I said they should order a bottle of fake champagne and fake pour it on each other. I hate the League of Dorks.

Here are my picks for Week 5:

Titans +19; Giants -4.5; Lions +6.5; Bucs +6.5; Packers +3; Patriots -10; Bills +10; Panthers -8.5; Jaguars -7; Cards +3; 49ers -3.5; Cowboys +2; Steelers +3; Ravens +4.

Last week's record: 10-4
Season record: 35-23-2

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She blows my MIND! It is like she is ME! I could have written this same column about my husband and all of his Fantasy Friends - which in and of itself disturbs me. My husband has Fantasy Friends...sound like I ought to be calling a marriage counselor. And you know, that is one really funny thing about it. What SHOULD he call these friends. I mean, some friends he plays with are actual friends, but some are people he doesn't even know face to face. It is like his own little Internet Porn Ring - but it is all this Fantasy Sports crap. I guess ESPN already capitalized on this whole concept last year, with its advertisements where the cute cheerleader girls were laying around on the bed talking fantasy football...yeah...like THAT happens! But that's the whole deal...fantasy is fantasy I guess. If only I had thought to get on the horn and talk about my husband and his geeky friends! There's been QUITE the drama and throwing down on the league this year too - name calling, new members talking trash, old friends quarreling, down to the wire trades...it has been a veritable cornucopia, if you will, of fantasy mayhem. (yes - Jay - I used the word cornucopia!) If only I'd tapped in...but you know that was baseball. The real drama of football, I suppose that is yet to come.

-Cheryl

How interesting! This guy, normal everyday photographer Danny Goldfield, set out on a little project to photograph a child from every country in the world. Yeah whatever, you may say, just sounds like a coffee table book, until you find that every child had to reside in NYC. He has been working on the project for two years, and is not done yet, but the press machine is moving now. I love when you read something, or see a TV show about someone, who just had a crazy idea, about a random thought or concept, ran with it, and somehow it panned out into some important work. It is how I see this blog. I mean, yeah, blogging is becoming somewhat ordinary, and tons of little teenybopper kids, adults, AND of course whackjobs and freaks, everywhere, maintain them. Not to mention, as I have explored a number of times, I am not unique. (you know, the "Super Subconscious Dad" thing!) Still, I can't help but think, if I keep posting on here, and keep looking at the world in a way that I am seeking things I could write about, PERHAPS as I blog, a thread of an idea will develop. I will get that little spark that starts a project, a theme, or some further writing. Who knows, but as I read about Danny Goldfield today, my hope was renewed in a number of things. Thanks, Danny, for showing us the universality of family, the innocent beauty of youth, the uniquely diverse place that is our country, and for showing us how ideas can GROW!

(check it out at http://www.nychildren.org)
- Cheryl

OH MY GOODNESS - now "Super Subconscious Dad" is sending me messages through tee shirts!
:)
Cheryl

SUNDAY'S SALIENCE

This is probably going to be a very random blog, due in part to my random nature on the whole, and to my attitude today, and to two beers consumed with a dinner my son cooked. YES, my son...may he become the next Emeril or Alton or Tyler so I can eat for free on my CRAPPY R.C. salary...so first, to him...

Learning the Point Spread

It was a big day in our household as our son learned about the point spread. You see, we have a Jets fan on our hands. We believe his loyalty lies with the Jets for the rather shallow reasons of liking aircraft and wanting a team from N.Y. OTHER than Daddy's Giants and, well, The Bills (sorry Dan and Matt!) , but then again, loyalties have been formed for lesser reasons, I am sure. SO, today, KNOWING that the Jets were going to lose, my husband taught our child the wonders of the point spread, ESSENTIALLY teaching him about gambling...we're nothing if not a wholesome bunch. THEN, the dinner he cooked was Turkey Sloppy Joe's and cheese fries, which our daughter professed, over and over, to LOVE. Our children love gambling and pub food - we are screwed!

Learning Individuality

And so we segue (LOVE that word, and LOVE that people very often can say it but not spell it:) nicely to my daughter, who learned this week that she comes from "out there" stock. Thursday evening, the FIRST night of the week that we really had time to breathe, she curled up in the rocker with me, wanting some "Mommy Time." We just rocked and cuddled and talked for a bit, then she sat up on my lap and very seriously said "Mommy, I need to tell you something." She proceeded to explain, in wavering voice, about a graph that her Kindergarten class had made. She was one of the first to make a choice on the topic "What I Want to Be When I Grow Up," and her choice, which went on the class graph, was to be an Artist. Now, as the lesson progressed, her best friend in the class said she wanted to be a Horseback Rider, and concurrently all the little girls saddled up. G was heartbroken, and literally SOBBED in my lap, while we had the inevitable "Get used to it, Mom's a whack job and so are you," discussion, but truth be told, I was thrilled. Maybe we FINALLY will get an artist in the family with enough childhood trauma to really make a go of it, eh Scott?!

Learning About Obscurity

So, speaking of/to my brother, the ball and chain and I were watching CBS Sunday Morning while the kids were at church school (need to do SOMETHING with them to counteract the debauchery they learn at home) and they mentioned a famous musicologist - even showed his picture! We both burst out laughing when we saw this old, furry faced man that could have been panhandling at any given metropolitan location, if not busy being a "famous musicologist." Sorry, bud, I guess NOW I know what your lot in life is!

Learning About My Own NORMALCY, thanks AGAIN Dad

And lest I wield my vile tongue TOO much, I got my own dressing down over the last few weeks. I always think I am so funny, so original and quick witted. WELL, my husband reads two weekly web columns quite religiously; Tuesday Morning Quarterback and Sports Guy, both off Page Two on ESPN. (GOD, I am impressing myself with my sports knowledge!). SO, recently, they have had stuff on their blogs, because they are essentially just blogs, that I swear are thoughts they sucked off my personal brainwaves. First off, one of them trashed the show "Rock Star Supernova" (guilty pleasure, I know, but hey, if I hadn't been an elementary teacher...) in the EXACT same way I had been verbally trashing it the night before. Then TMQ (see, SO savvy I can use the INITIALS!) ranted eloquently about homework, JUST as Sue and I had. And finally, this week, Sports Gal, (whose stats I might add are DAMN GOOD! Watch out Sports Guy - see I am SO good I even look at stats - pat my back, PLEASE, I NEED to feel important!) had her day with "Clip Shows," one of the EXACT TOPICS I had thought about ranting about this weekend myself. You know, those shows where you settle in for a new episode of your favorite serial and find yourself watching a review of the season thus far? CHEAP T.V. at its FINEST! Not to mention, insullting to the "real fan" who has watched all along, and HAS A BRAIN that can RETAIN INFORMATION enough to follow a story line withough visual Cliff's! Well, when I read her post, and realized she had stolen my fire, I heard the little voice again"You are COMPLETELY normal!" "Super Subconscious Dad" was visiting again! Now, granted, he originally said such so as to keep me from becoming a FREAK in Highschool, but, much to my demise, it is becoming quite true in fact. Overall,though, the thing that PISSES ME OFF (can't imagine that, can you?) - if I didn't have to work at my damn "dayjob," maybe I could get my thoughts out there FASTER!!!!!!!!!! What the hell am I thinking, I come from a long line of procrastinators and I am SURE an at home pedicure would take precedence.

All this AS my son states "Awww, back to school tomorrow" in the background, and such is...

Learning About LIFE,
Cheryl